living for God

Hello again,

How are you all?

i've been thinking about what it means to have God as Lord of your life, its something we throw about, and we sing 'i surrender all to you Jesus,' but i don't think we really get it! i mean what does having God in complete control of your life really look like, i don't honestly know but i would like to find out. We take words like worship, love, holiness, growth and we Churchize them, they no longer become radical words, or life changing words they are limited- we sing songs and that is worship, but worship isn't just singing songs, in fact i think that is just a small part of what worship really is, its about living a life of worship- but what does that look like, i don't know! how do you make every breath you take worship, that probably comes with getting to know God and what he really is like. we tend to have a really small view of God, or we focus on one aspect of him and forget about everything else, and because of this we can't really wworship him with our lives, our view of who God is really needs to be bigger. which means our view of ourselves needs to be smaller. but how does this happen? Look at Isaiah or Paul and their lives where completely transformed because they had a vision of God- they didn't want anything other than him once they caught a glimpse of him, i would love for that to happen. But until that time i need to look for God in the things around me, enjoy his creation, look for him in the people i meet, and of course explore him and get to know him through the bible. this will lead to more of God, it will lead to a radically different life, one where i am smaller and God is bigger. i think also that i need to start really serving people, i mean really serving them, putting them before any of my own selfish ambition, i mean like Jesus when he washed the disciples feet- a true example of humility, but its a true example of radical love, here was Jesus putting the disciples above himself, its a true example of worship- by serving these men, God was serving God in a true act of worship. i think we can be very selfish in our singing to God, it becomes not about what we give back to God, but what he can give to us, or about the nice feeling we get inside. i'm not saying its a bad thing, but what i am saying is come on, it isn't about us, its about God and glorifying his name, bringing praise to him. Its the same with love, so often we're in it for us, but God asks us to love unconditionaly, to show his love to everyone- Jonah- he had to go to Nineva, he had to show Gods love, much as he didn't want to- he was uncomfortable! and well its the same with us, God asks us to love uncomfortably, when it hurts he wants us to love, when its the unlovely he wants us to love, when its ourselves he wants us to love. why, because he is love, because all these forms of love he gives, and he gives more than we could ever imagine. he loves us, the unlovely, he loves us, even though time and again and we hurt him with our actions, because he loves us no matter what we think about ourselves! Man i wish i could really love like that, i wish i could leave of my selfishness and my own desires, Lord Please help me!